


Lean On Me

by lostinjungkook



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, M/M, Multi, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Friendship, currently missing my sunshine a lot, everyone is there but only the ones tagged have an active role, haechan is hurt, slight angst and a ton of fluff, you may notice that I have a soft spot for markhyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-10-05 13:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17325512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinjungkook/pseuds/lostinjungkook
Summary: "It’s stupid really - how fast things can change. Only a few seconds ago, he felt like he was standing on top of the world and now he was laying on the ground surrounded by his shattered dreams."Or: What could've happened when Haechan broke his shin bone.





	1. Lean On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since it was announced that Haechan got hurt, I wanted to write about it. He's my bias next to Mark and writing has always been a way for me to deal with my feelings. I really hope he's doing okay and that SM gives him enough time to recover.  
> Remember all of this is pure fiction.

It’s stupid really - how fast things can change. Only a few seconds ago, he felt like he was standing on top of the world and now he was laying on the ground surrounded by his shattered dreams. He wasn’t even sure how exactly it happened. It was in the middle of practice when Johnny and Yuta were throwing him in the air for a new choreography that their dance instructor made for the end of the year performances. It wasn’t the first time they had practiced this move, but something went wrong today. Devastatingly wrong. Looking back no one was to blame - mistakes happen, even to idols.

All he knew is that he was laying on the ground in agonizing pain and the world around him froze. It didn’t actually freeze as everyone quickly crouched down next to his body and Taeyong’s voice screamed at his managers to call an ambulance, but to Donghyuck it seemed like everything stopped. The moment he didn’t stand the landing like he usually does, he knew that he was hurt in a way no idols want to. Hurt in a “no schedules for at least two months“ kinda way. Which meant he not only wouldn’t be able to perform at the end of the year shows, but he also wouldn’t be able to be a part of Mark’s graduation. Mark who he promised to support, when the elder opened up about his fear of saying goodbye. Mark who was his soulmate since the first day they met five years ago. Mark who was currently laying Donghyuck’s head in his lap and couldn’t stop threading a hand through his hair.

"Hyuck can you hear me?“ Jaehyun’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Yes. I can hear you, hyung.“ Jaehyun and Mark gift him a smile.

"That’s good. That’s really good. Can you tell me what hurts?“

A good question, what did hurt? He was so focused on feeling the pain that he never tried to figure out where it came from. To be honest, he doesn’t really want to know. He wants to stall as much time as possible, because right now he was only in pain, but as soon as he knows how serious his injury is he will need to live with the consequences. Sadly, Jaehyun doesn’t seem to be a fan of stalling as his look silently orders Donghyuck to give him an answer. Preferably yesterday. So what hurt? His head was okay. He could move the fingers on his right hand and on his left hand. His back was okay as well. He could move his left foot and … oh. That didn’t feel good at all. Shit.

"My leg hurts.“ Is the only thing he can press out as another wave of pain consumes him.

He can feel Mark’s body tense and a few seconds later he looks directly into a pair of dark brown eyes. His favorite pair of eyes. "I know it hurts, Hyuckie. And I wish I could take your pain away, but the medics will be here any second now and I need you to tell us which side hurts.“

If anyone else had asked him, he wouldn’t have answered. Because couldn’t they just let him suffer in peace for a few minutes. But it wasn’t anyone else - it was Mark - and so his lips breathed out a quick "right“ before he again distanced himself from the situation that took place around him.

He wished he would’ve lost consciousness. It would’ve been so much easier. But no, it seemed like someone up there didn’t particularly like him. Because he was awake when the medics arrived and their hands roamed all over his body. He was awake when the group decided to send Taeyong with him to the hospital. He was awake when the ambulance made an emergency breaking and he needed to scream to find an outlet for the pain. He was awake when the doctor told him, his manager and Taeyong that his right shin was broken and that he wouldn’t be able to attend any schedules for at least three months. He was awake when they left him alone to greet the other members who just arrived.

The tears in his eyes made his view go hazy when everything crashed down on him. He didn’t suffer from physical pain anymore, because they gave him a good amount of painkillers, but his heart hurt. It hurt so much that he couldn’t breathe anymore. Since he joined the company five years ago, it has always been his biggest dream to perform at the end of the year show. And this year, everything seemed to be falling into place for his wish to be granted. Well, the emphasis lies on seemed. He would miss his chance again. Worse, he had to watch all of his friends live his dream while he would be back home for at least three months. Which also meant at least 12 weeks apart from his members. He couldn’t even stand being apart from Mark for a day - how could he survive 84 days. Probably even more.

"Please don’t cry.“ His eyes dart to the end of his bed. Weird, he didn’t even notice anyone enter the room. The drugs they gave him must be really good. Especially since they made the boy in front of him glow even more than he usually did.

"Sorry.“

Mark walks over to his side and takes a seat on the edge of his bed. "You don’t have to apologize for crying. It’s probably for the best if you let your emotions out now before you lose control over them. So don’t mind my words. I guess I just can’t stand to see you cry.“

Donghyuck turned his head to glance over at his hyung. "I just don’t know how I’m going to survive this. Not being able to do what I love. Not being able to be around all of you. I won’t even be here for your graduation and I promised you I would.“

He could feel the tears run down his cheeks and drip down his nose. He must look horrible, but Mark never commented on it like he usually would. Not one stupid joke left the others lips. Instead the older placed a calmingly hand on Donghyuck healthy leg.

"It’s not your fault that you can’t be here for the end of the year show and the last thing you should worry about is me and my feelings. Of course, I’m gonna be sad that you won’t be with us, but I could never be disappointed or angry with you. All you need to focus on right now is getting better. And I know how much performing on these shows means to you, but I promise you that you will be able to fulfill your wish. Just trust me on this, okay?“

Donghyuck leans his head on Mark’s shoulder and for the first time today he doesn’t feel pain.

"Okay.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want me to write a second chapter for this, because I have an idea on how to continue, but I liked this ending as well - so I thought I would let all of you decide 💕
> 
> Today's Song Of The Day:  
> No Longer by NCT 127  
> ↳ Haechan sounds especially like an angel in this one 💕
> 
> contact me:  
> [ᴛωɪᴛᴛᴇʀ](https://twitter.com/myforeverwithin)  
> [ᴄᴜʀɪᴏᴜsᴄᴀᴛ](https://curiouscat.me/brokenxdiaries)


	2. When You're Not Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tears don’t make you weak. They make you human."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since some people wanted a second chapter, I decided to write it. And not only that: you're getting a third chapter as well ☺️  
> 

Some days were darker than others. That’s one of the first things Donghyuck had noticed after his accident. It has only been a few days since he left the hospital in a wheel chair, but still the sky seemed less vivid than he remembered. The past days were spent in his bed while his members continued practicing for the end of year show. Seeing them tie their shoes and put on their jackets every morning felt like a punch straight to his face. A constant reminder that they are still living their life while his was on pause.

To make everything worse, his manager had yesterday delivered the message Donghyuck had secretly feared since the doctor had announced his diagnosis: He would be spending his recovery at home with his parents.

So for him today was bad. There was no number on Jaehyun’s scale from 1 to 10 that could clarify how he was feeling.Don’t mistake, under normal circumstances he would be ecstatic: he was free from any schedule for weeks and his parents were on their way to pick him up. But the situation he is in is far from normal and that’s why he is sitting on the edge of his bed, silently crying into the pillow pressed onto his face.

A knock on his door disturbed his wallowing in self pity.

“Hyuck, can I come in?“

Donghyuck knew that Mark would come in either way, so he stays silent. Like he predicted, the door opens only a few seconds later and he can hear the wheels of his desk chair scrape over the floor.

“Why aren’t you at practice?“ His words are barely more than a whisper.

“I didn’t feel good leaving you alone.“

“You know that I’m old enough to deal with these things alone, right?“

“Oh, really? Then how are you dealing with it right now?“

Donghyuck lowers the pillow and peeks at him through his lashes. The older boys eyes are filled with worry which made him lower his defense mechanism at least a little bit.

“I just had a weak moment. I’ll be better before you know it.“

Mark sits up straight. "Tears don’t make you weak. They make you human. And every human being I know would react the same in a situation like yours.“

“Oh please, even the “absolutely fully capable Mark“?“ A smirk graces Donghyuck's lips as the boy before him blushes.

“You couldn’t just say thank you, could you?“

“No, I couldn’t.“

Mark stares at him, lips curling into a smile without thought. “You’re really something else, Hyuck.“

“Oh, believe me. I know how great I am.“ Donghyuck looks up smiling brightly at him. His tears are long forgotten.

“Of course you do.“

They sit in silence until Mark breaks it again.

“How is your leg?“ His words sound insecure like he is afraid of how Donghyuck is going react to his change of topic.

The younger only sighs and tears his eyes away from Mark’s to look at this leg.

“It doesn’t hurt as bad as it did back in the hospital, but it feels weird not being able to dance. Even earlier when I listened to music while packing my suitcase, I always had the urge to move - just to notice that I couldn’t.“

“I’m sure you’ll be back to dancing and getting on our nerves before we know it.“

Donghyuck takes in a long heavy breath. “You really think so?“

“I’m sure of it.“

The sound of the doorbell echoing through their dorm abruptly ends their solace.

Mark is the first to move as he stands up and makes his way over to Donghyuck.

“Are you ready?“ He holds his hand out for the younger boy to take.

“As ready as I’m going to be.“

And that’s how he leaves. One hand intertwined with Mark’s and the other tightly wrapped around the handle of his suitcase.

Leaving is painful. Even if it is only temporary. Even when he knows that he will be back. And it’s always going to be this hard. Because he loves what he leaves behind. He loves his room with every single Michael Jackson poster on the wall. He loves dancing every single moment he can spare. He loves singing, no matter if under the shower or in a recording booth. Most importantly, he loves his members. One of them maybe more than the rest. And being away from what you love, hurts. But he also knows that all these things are always going to be with him, because he carries them around in the depths of his heart.

And while Donghyuck sits in his parents car and watches the streets of Seoul pass him by, he promises to himself to be honest when he comes back. Honest with his feelings towards the one person who made saying goodbye not as hard as it usually would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you liked it in the comments below and if you're excited for part 3 ☺️
> 
> Today's Song Of The Day:  
> Gone by Lee Changsub  
> ↳ Just a song that won't leave my mind at the moment ❤️
> 
> contact me:  
> [ᴛωɪᴛᴛᴇʀ](https://twitter.com/myforeverwithin)  
> [ᴄᴜʀɪᴏᴜsᴄᴀᴛ](https://curiouscat.me/brokenxdiaries)


	3. And I'll Be Your Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Life is easy. We're the ones making it complicated."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with the final part, hope you enjoy!

Donghyuck figured out that there is in fact something worse than leaving his band members and that is coming back when he knows that he has to leave again. Their first world tour is something he had been looking forward to since SM informed them in a meeting about it, but then his accident happened. And well, plans change. He couldn’t perform with them, at least not in the way he wanted to.

He was currently sitting on a chair positioned in the middle of the stage and just looked at the empty seats in front of him. His members would arrive from their dorms any minute now and he couldn’t wait to see all of their faces again. He missed his roommate Jaehyun and their talks late at night or early in the morning. He missed Taeyong and his tries to stop Donghyuck from getting all of them into trouble. He missed Johnny and his jokes as well as Doyoung and his sarcastic tendencies. But most of all did he miss his partner in crime.

Being alone on stage felt weird. Not being able to move on his own felt even weirder. Two of their staff members had to carry him to the chair he was sitting on and there was no way he could make his way backstage without them. He needed them. He was reliant on them. Something Donghyuck hated more than anything else was feeling tied down - not having complete freedom. It made him feel anxious.

"Donghyuck!“

Before he could even realize what was happening, two arms engulfed him into a tight hug. The smell of vanilla and firewood wrapped themselves around him like a blanket. There was only one person who smelled like that. Jaehyun.

"We missed you.“ The words are whispered into his neck and soft hands rub his back in a calming manner. "I missed you too.“

Someones clears their throat. "Jaehyun, stop keeping him all to yourself.“

Jaehyun pulls him close one more time before he loosens his grip and moves away. "He’s all yours.“

Their leader is next and Taeyong’s hugs are always his favorite if Donghyuck was being completely honest. Something about them made him feel safe and protected - like nothing in the world could harm him in any way. It made him feel like he really is the maknae of the group.

"You look good. How is your leg?“ Yuta’s voice is so careful and compassionate as he crouches down in front of Donghyuck after everyone had a chance to welcome him. Well everyone except for one person. "Where is Mark?“

"He has a meeting with SM and will come a little bit later. No reason to worry and now answer my question.“

Donghyuck glances uncertainly at him. "Are you sure? If I find out that you lied to me,..-“

"Then what?“ The older boy raises an eyebrow.

"Then I’m gonna make you carry me all day instead of the staff members.“

Yuta stares at him, lips curling into a smile. "I promise that everything’s okay with Mark. SM just wanted talk to him about our tour, since we’re visiting his home town and all that. See, absolutely nothing you need to stress yourself over. And now tell me if you’re in any pain.“

Donghyuck stares down at his leg and takes in a long heavy breath. "It hurts pretty bad if I try to move it, but I’m not allowed to anyway. It sucks, but I’m fine.“

"I’m really sorry this happened to you, Donghyuckie. I really am.“ Yuta’s hand comes up to stroke his hair and normally, Donghyuck would shake him off, but, well. He’ll humor him just this once.

"It’s not your fault or anyone else’s. It was a stupid accident - something that could’ve happened to anyone. And I’ll be fine. You’ll see, I’m gonna be back to getting on your nerves in no time.“

"I don’t doubt that.“

  ~~~~

Being on stage with the others made him feel alive for the first time in weeks. Even if he wasn’t able to dance, it didn’t really mater to him in that moment.

While singing _No Longer_ his eyes moved across the stage and soon enough his eyes meet another pair of brown ones close to the backstage area. Mark. The older boy smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up. After that, Donghyuck turns away and really tries to focus on the song again, but that wasn’t easy when he could feel his best friend’s eyes burn a hole into the back of his head.

The weeks he had spend at home, he had really tried to get rid of these feelings - knowing really well that they could destroy everything. It’s needless to say that it didn’t work.

As soon as the song ends, he’s wrapped into a pair of arms again. The hug is not as intimate as the one he shared with Jaehyun and it doesn’t last as long as Taeyong’s did, but to Donghyuck it’s still perfect. It’s perfect, because he knows how much Mark dislikes physical contact.

"You look happy.“ Mark glances up at him from where he sat down on the ground.

"I am happy. I really _really_ missed being on stage.“

"I wish you could perform the whole concert with us. It feels weird not having you next to me on stage.“

"Yeah, I know.“

"Has your doctor said anything about when you’ll be able to dance again?“

Donghyuck’s smile instantly falls. "He said I could start training at end of march.“

Mark straightens confused. "What about the concerts in Japan?“

Donghyuck shook his head at him and swallowed down the lump rising in his throat. "I won’t be going to Japan with you. After our two shows here, I’m going back to my parents until my leg is completely healed.“

Mark huddles closer to Donghyuck and rest his head on his lap. "I know I’m being selfish, but I really don’t wanna be apart from you for another two months.“

"Me neither, but there’s nothing we can do to change it.“

Loud voices echo through the arena as the rest of the boys come back on stage. Donghyuck notices that he never even realized his hyungs leaving the stage after their song. All his attention had been on Mark.

"Yo Mark, ready to practice?“ Johnny comes forward and holds out his hand to help Mark get up from the ground.

"You can bet.“

  

"This is stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over something like this.“ Donghyuck watches one of the tears that roll down his face as it hits the bathroom tiles next to his naked feet. It’s the night after their second concert and he is currently hiding in the bathroom of his hotel room, talking to Renjun over the phone. The older boy was the first person that came into Donghyuck’s mind when he felt tears brimming in his eyes and dark thoughts dimming his smile.

"It’s not stupid, but can you tell me why you’re so afraid of telling him?“

"It could change everything. What if he doesn’t like me back and then everything get’s weird between us? This would not only mean the end of our friendship, but it could also be a potential danger for our group. If we lose the bond to each other, there’s no way we’re gonna make it in this industry.“

"And what if he likes you back?“

"Then it still doesn’t mean that it’s gonna work out between us. What if we break up after a while and hate each other? I think that would be even worse.“

"You can never know if a relationship works out, sometimes you just need to take a risk.“

"I don’t know if I can do that. I rather have Mark as my best friend than not have him at all.“

"I can’t tell you what to do, but I don’t think keeping your feelings to yourself is healthy. It’s gonna break you at some point - even more than it does now.“

"I know.“ Donghyuck casts his eyes downward again as another wave of frustration washes over him. "God, why can’t something in my life be easy for once.“

"Life is easy. We’re the ones making it complicated.“

Donghyuck lets out a groan. "Sometimes I hate that you’re a fortune cookie on two legs.“

"A what?“

"A fortune cookie on two legs.“

He can literally see the older boy roll his eyes as he says the next words. "I hate you.“

"No, you don’t. You love me.“

"Yeah I do. And that’s why I’m going to hang up now so that you can go over to Mark’s room and talk to him.“

 

He has been standing in front of Mark’s room for about ten minutes now and can’t seem to get his hand to knock on the door. He’s been going through years worth of memories that he shares with the older boy and he isn’t sure if he’s ready to give all of that up. He needed Mark in his life. That was the only thing he has ever been sure of. He needed his smile to brighten up his day and his shoulder to cry on if everything got too much. He needed his serious side for advice and his mischievous one for playing pranks on the older members. He needed his musical knowledge when Donghyuck doubted his voice again or wasn’t able to get the choreography right. He needed his adventurous phases when he didn’t want to walk around Seoul at night alone and his lazy phases when he didn’t want to lay in bed alone all day.

Having Mark like that was worth more to him than maybe having him as his boyfriend for a while. So why was he still standing in front of the rapper’s room? Why hasn’t he turned around already and walked back to go to sleep? Especially when every second he held himself upright with his crutches hurt like hell.

It was simple: He was sick of being a scaredy-cat.

The knuckles of his hand meet the wood before he can back out again and soon enough the door opens to reveal the one human being constantly haunting his mind.

"Donghyuck? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?“

"Can I come in and talk to you for a minute?“

"Of course.“ His friend steps aside and Donghyuck takes in a deep breath and walks into the room. He carefully plops down onto the bed and waits for Mark to join him.

"I wasn’t completely honest to you and you know that keeping secrets makes me extremely anxious. So I decided to come and tell you before I have to go on like this for the next two months that we’re probably not gonna see each other.“

"I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I’m here and you can tell me anything.“ Mark huddles closer to Donghyuck and nest his head on the younger boy’s shoulder. Donghyuck wasn’t sure if having his friend so close to him made things easier or harder.

"I like you.“ He looks down at his hands twisting the ends of his hoodie. "And not in the way you normally feel about your best friend. It’s more and at first I thought it would go away again, but it didn’t.“

"For how long have you’ve been keeping this to yourself?“

"Remember when we shot the video for Go? I didn’t feel good about myself around that time, but you made me feel confident - no matter if it was about my singing, my dancing, my appearance or just my personality in general. When we arrived on set after we finished our schedule with 127, all of my anxiety that had built up over the day just exploded and I was a crying mess. I hid in the bathroom and tried to get myself together, but it didn’t work. No matter what I did. And then you found me and helped me regulate my breathing back to normal and told me all those stupid stories about accidents you had, just so I would start smiling again.“ Donghyuck starts smiling again just thinking about it. "I think that’s when I knew for sure, but sometimes I’m convinced that I’ve always liked you in this way, but..-“

"But you were too oblivious to notice it.“ Mark ventures when it becomes clear that the other can’t continue. "Me too.“

Donghyuck sits up abruptly and locks eyes with the older boy for the first time since they started talking. "You what?“

"I like you too. Always have and always will.“

The younger boy lets out an annoyed groan. "Why didn’t you say anything?“

"It's probably the same reason why you didn’t tell me until now. Scared of change. Scared of it not working out. Scared of it ruining what we already have. There’s a lot to be afraid of.“

"I know, but what do you want to do about it? About us having feelings for each other, I mean.“

Mark’s reply is without hesitation. "Honestly, I want you to be my boyfriend.“

"Really? But what if it doesn’t work out?“ Donghyuck glances uncertainly at him.

"Then we can at least say that we tried.“

Was he willing to take that risk? Renjun would probably say something like “the biggest risk in life is not taking any risk at all“ and maybe he was right. Just this once. Maybe Donghyuck just needed to stop overthinking everything and jump into the unknown. As long as Mark was beside him, everything would be alright.

"Okay.“

"Okay?“ Mark looks up smiling brightly at him and Donghyuck knows that this is right. This is what’s meant to happen. This is what they’re meant to be.

"Yeah, I really wanna be your boyfriend.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, who can guess which song inspired this series? I mean, I'm not obvious with my chapter titles at all 😂  
> When I started writing the first chapter, it was supposed to be a simple one-shot about haechan's injury and then I kinda got swept away. I honestly love what this story turned out to be and I hope you enjoyed it as well 💕
> 
> Today's Song Of The Day:  
> November Rain by Kris Wu  
> ↳ No other reason than me missing Kris right now
> 
> contact me:  
> [ᴛωɪᴛᴛᴇʀ](https://twitter.com/myforeverwithin)  
> [ᴄᴜʀɪᴏᴜsᴄᴀᴛ](https://curiouscat.me/brokenxdiaries)


End file.
